Can't Get You Out Of My Head

Chapter 01

Violet

There was snow in the corner of Violet's mental archives. She was returning from visiting her youngest daughter's nightmare, ready to wake next to her husband and start the day, when she noticed it.

The snow was tucked away in the corner beyond the window to Andarna's power, and she might have missed it entirely if it wasn't moving. The gentle flurry of movement sparkled with a reflection of Andarna's light, and that drew her eye in. She noticed the flakes fluttered down to what looked almost like soft earth below, where they disappeared.

"What…?" she murmured to herself, reaching for them. Her Archives hadn't changed in years, not since the horrible days when first Andarna, then Xaden and Sgaeyl, had been missing. But it had been stable since then, even long after the original Archives had been destroyed. So why now?

"I'm afraid that's my doing," Andarna piped in, little whispers of mischief and nervousness wrapping around her words.

"What do you mean? Why is there weather?"

"I got a bit carried away last night," Andarna started, and Violet couldn't help smiling.

"I noticed that part." Fortunately, Xaden never seemed to mind whether the dragon lust driving her out of her senses was matched from his own dragon or not. It had taken some time to find a rhythm to it once Andarna came of age, but Violet had good shields and a healthy sex life, so they'd found a balance.

Andarna hesitated, and Violet sent comfort down the bond. It wasn't like her to be nervous. "It wasn't only that…"

"She bonded with her mating partner," Tairn cut in with a grumble, "despite being too young to do so, in my opinion."

"We got carried away," Andarna protested. "And I'm not a hatchling anymore, old man! Would you rather I had eggs of my own to care for like Tilleadh?"

"I would rather–"

But Violet interrupted, "Wait, you… mate bonded? Like Tairn and Sgaeyl? Is this a link to their rider?" Her mind stuttered. Would she have to learn to share a connection with someone new now, after all this time? She knew all the riders in the Aretian riot, at least in passing, so it wouldn't be a stranger, but…

"Don't worry! You know him and his rider!" Andarna hurried to reassure her. "And you know I have impeccable taste." That got Violet's attention. She knew many riders, but she wouldn't say she knew many dragons.

"I definitely know you taste impeccable." That was a new voice, but not unfamiliar. Violet hurried to identify it, and also not to think too hard about what the newcomer had just said. "Hey there, Shiny! It's been a while." It clicked into place–she'd know him since his rider had helped her train her second signet during the war.

"Aotrom?" She couldn't keep the disbelief out of her thoughts.

Violet had the distinct impression of Tairn glaring at the new dragon. "That was my mate's reaction."

"You know, I wasn't expecting it to be so crowded in here, think I'll go see what Dicky's dreaming about."

"He's sweet!" Andarna sounded defensive, and Violet couldn't help the urge to reassure her.

"I was just surprised," she insisted. "I didn't even realize you were seeing him, let alone that you were serious." Not that serious felt like the right word when Aotrom was involved. "Does Ridoc know?"

"We don't usually advertise such things," Andarna spoke in her best imperious Tairn impression, the one she'd finally grown into a few years ago. "And it wasn't exactly planned."

"Sounds about right for both of you," Violet couldn't help giggling. The whole situation seemed so unbelievable, she wondered if she'd accidentally fallen back into deeper sleep. "Congratulations, Andarna. Truly. You deserve lifelong happiness after everything." They were an echo of the worlds Andarna had given her after her second. proper wedding to Xaden.

Turning her attention from Andarna and Tairn, Violet studied the flurry again. "Ridoc?" she thought experimentally.

She could almost swear she heard the shift as he started to wake at her prodding, resulting in a single, confused "Violet?" before his presence seemed to fade back into the dormant snowflakes as he woke up fully. Violet smiled a little, remembering how badly Xaden had caught her off-guard all those years ago at Montserrat. It would be interesting to be the one doing the explaining for a change.

Violet came fully awake, opening her eyes to the bedroom she shared with Xaden, his arm slung loose over her hip in sleep. This was going to be an interesting conversation, certainly—even after years of marriage, Xaden still sometimes struggled with jealousy. Best to get it over with, she supposed, since they'd likely see Ridoc at breakfast. Plus, Xaden always seemed to take surprises better when he already had her in his arms.

She reached up and put a hand on Xaden's shoulder behind her. "Xaden?" He pulled her against him, burying his face in her neck seemingly without actually waking up. Violet felt her body responding as he began to kiss down the back of her neck, heat pooling low, and she decided perhaps it would be best to let Xaden have a pleasant awakening before hitting him with the news.

Violet could certainly use a few fortifying orgasms before figuring out what all of this would mean. She allowed herself to be thoroughly distracted by pleasure and afterglow until Xaden peeled himself away from her to go shower, and was nearly dozing when the image of snow in the corner of her Archives came back to her.

Chapter 02

Ridoc

Ridoc was at Basgiath, and he was late for Threshing, which made no sense because he'd just come from RSC, but he was too hurried to realize that. He couldn't go straight to Threshing, though, because first he needed to find a bathroom and everywhere he stopped, the bathrooms were all either full or out of order.

"Ridoc?"

"Violet?"

He swore he'd heard Violet call him across the courtyard, but just as he started to look for her, someone elbowed him in the ribs. The courtyard dissolved into curtain-filtered sunlight as Ridoc opened his eyes.

"I know you said this wasn't going to be serious, but I don't appreciate waking up to someone else's name."

Ridoc sighed and sat up, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, Ailíse, I was dreaming." He flashed his best smile at her. "It wasn't even a fun dream! But we can still make it a good morning."

Ailíse huffed at him. "Not today, Ridoc, I've got to head out with my caravan this morning. I'll be going out to Zolya this time, we're putting together an expedition to the Barrens. Look me up if you're out that way, though?"

"Of course," he stood, and she let him kiss her on the cheek so he knew all was forgiven.

Once he was dressed in last night's clothes, Ridoc planned to head up to Riorson House to eat, change, and check in to see what his next duty assignment would be. He checked himself over in Ailíse's mirror just to make sure he wasn't a mess, in case he ran into anyone before he got to change.

Rakish smile, check.
Hair mostly in place, check.
Salt-and-pepper goatee, looking distinguished.

He'd heard plenty of younger riders complain about a bit of silver in their hair or some lines on their face, but Ridoc couldn't bring himself to mind it. Rider training was no longer as deadly as it had been when he was at Basgiath, and the continent had been at peace for almost two decades. As far as he was concerned, getting old was a privilege he would wear with pride.

Besides, silver hair reminded him of his best friend, and he was going to get to see her today.

He wished Ailíse luck with her work and stepped out into the early morning sunlight.

It was a beautiful day in Aretia and Ridoc was hoping for some chaos. Not a lot of chaos, just a little bit. The fun kind.

"I've got you covered there, Dicky," Aotrom's presence greeted him.

Ridoc smiled. "After all the fun you had last night, you've got something else in the works?"

"Nah, it's still the same chaos as last night"

"It can't be the same chaos because you're not giving me a distance boner, buddy."

Aotrom chuckled, and their bond tingled with smug affection. "You'll find out soon enough. Make sure you talk to your shiny one this morning, yeah?"

Ridoc looked up as he approached Riorson House, wondering what Aotrom was up to. He didn't see his dragon nearby, but he did catch the explosion of shadows that streamed out of the family wing into the bright morning.

Shit, had something happened? Ridoc broke into a run. He didn't know if something was wrong, but he wanted to be there immediately in case Violet needed him.

Chapter 03

Violet

"Are you calm now?" Violet asked Xaden when the shadows receded with all the guilty conscience of one of their children when they'd been caught breaking a rule.

Xaden took a deep breath. "I'm calm enough. You just caught me off guard."

"We've all been caught off guard," Violet left him on the bed, walking over to the armoire. She dressed comfortably for the morning meetings with the Council, knowing there would be plenty of time spent on logistics for the upcoming trade meetings. "You're not going to do anything silly, right?"

"I'm never silly." He said it with so much seriousness that Violet might have believed it, had she not seen spent years watching him have tea parties and dragon rides with their children. A wicked smirk turned up the corner of his mouth. "I just want to see his face when he figures it out."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to telling him," Violet agreed. She turned her gaze inward for a moment. "I'm so used to knowing when you're nearby, it's hard to remember when all of this was new. I think he's here." She reached out and took Xaden's hand.

As they walked down from the family wing, Violet paid more attention to the place where the bond to Ridoc now sat in her mind. It was vibrating with something she guessed was anxiety, the snow tossing around in a chaotic little flurry. She tried sending calm in his direction with a gentle push, and the snow seemed to settle somewhat.

"Please tell me if you need to slow down today," he told her as they reached the first floor. "You know I hate shielding you out, but I will if it's too much."

"I don't know what to expect. There's so little written about mate bonds to begin with."

"Yes, but I happen to know the brilliant woman who wrote half of that research." Aloud, Xaden sighed. "I'd like to think our relationship was entirely ours from the beginning, but it's hard to be confident suddenly."

"Are you worried I'll suddenly want to climb Ridoc like we're cadets again?"

Xaden raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure climb is the right word, he's hardly taller than you. But I did wonder…."

"There's no precedent to look to for this," I admitted carefully. " But I don't think dragon lust is the only thing our relationship is based on."

Just before we reached the dining hall entrance, Xaden pulled me into an alcove. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. His shields were down, or as close to it as he ever was, and I could feel trust radiating from him the way I usually felt love.

"I'm sorry for my reaction. I know you're brilliant and you have the strongest mind of anyone I know, but it seems like it might be a lot to deal with, even for you. If you need me to take over any of your duties, I will, or I'll find someone who can."

Violet laid her head against his chest and just listened to his heartbeat for a minute. "I know you would. I just have to ask, right?"

Xaden buried his face in her hair. "And I do trust you, completely. But… can I ask you one entirely selfish question?"

"What's that?" She switched to the bond so she didn't have to remove her face from his chest to be heard.

"Would you even want to sleep with him?"

Violet pulled away from him to look at his face. "You're serious."

"I'm curious."

"Would you believe I've never thought about it?" She bit her lip. When they'd been first year cadets, she'd been preoccupied with not dying, and then with Xaden, and… well, everything had moved so fast, and she remembered Ridoc saying once that he never seriously flirted with Rhiannon or Sawyer because he didn't want to make the Squad awkward by sleeping with them. Even when he was practically glued to her side during the war, when she was alone, she'd never really considered it.

"I'm surprised, considering the way he looks at you," Xaden admitted. "You must really only have eyes for me if you've never even thought about it."

"He doesn't look at me like he looks at the people he dates," she insisted.

"No, he doesn't," Xaden said, leaning down to kiss her one more time. "He also doesn't cross the continent at their word, doesn't show up for the birth of their children, doesn't shape his life around them. He does that for you. Maybe I can only see it because I do the same thing. The arc of his world revolves around you, love."

"But why?" She felt herself tensing up, her face getting hot. It took a minute to realize she was embarrassed. Why was she embarrassed?

"Why shouldn't the world revolve around you?" Xaden smirked at her. "Besides which, you've done the same for him. Remember when you got word he'd been injured and you dragged Brennan out of bed to fly to the coast with you? You don't need to worry that you care for your friends and they care for you."

"That was—" Violet stammered. Years. He'd been beside her for years. Had she taken him for granted? Had she hurt him? "It's different, it's not—he deserves—oh gods."

"I thought this was just going to be about you playing a fun trick on him." He rested his hands on her shoulders with a weight that always made her settle. "You'll be fine, he'll be fine. Either way, Vi, talk to him."

"You're right." She took a deep breath. "This is going to be fun. I am having fun." Xaden let go of her and she stepped out of the alcove—and right into Ridoc's path.

Chapter 04

Ridoc

It was definitely convenient that Ridoc ran into Violet pretty shortly after he went looking for her, but that didn't mean he wanted to literally run into Violet. He grabbed her as soon as he realized what happened, one arm around her ribcage and the other around her hips to reduce the chance of pulling in the wrong way and dislocating something.

"Vi! I was just looking for you," he said, pulling her into a hug. "Are you okay? I saw some kind of shadowgasm when I was coming this way and I worried something might have happened."

When he leaned back to look at Violet, she seemed fine, though her face was flushed. There might have been a little more gray in the top of her hair then when he'd last seen her a few months ago, but not much, and if there were lines in her face they were carved by joy. No new scars, and there hadn't been in over a decade, but that didn't stop him from checking. Old habits and all.

"I'm fine. Feeling a bit unbalanced this morning, maybe, but fine," Violet told him. Her blush deepened. "Did you have a good night last night?"

Ridoc followed her lead into the change of subject. "As a matter of fact, I did. Ailíse is headed to the Barrens, by the way; you may get some new research material for the library next year."

"Assuming I can get to her before Drake gets his talons on it for Cliffsbane," Violet grumbled.

"She told me to look for her if I was out by Zolya in the next few months so maybe that can be arranged," Ridoc winked. Any chance to make things happen for his bestie was worth it.

Violet paused like she was thinking about it, and Ridoc didn't want to interrupt her so instead he gently turned her toward the dining hall and started her walking while she thought, following beside her to make sure there were no more unfortunate collisions.

"So was there anything… strange about your morning?" Violet asked him a minute later, and his first reaction was to say no, mostly because his small talk ran on autopilot at least seventy percent of the time. He'd spent a fair amount of effort increasing that percentage over the years, determined to cut down on the escaping of inside thoughts.

"Are you sure?"

He noticed she was blushing again. What on earth had gotten into her? Though the mention of last night made him grin—maybe Tairn had some morning wood to work out and that was why she was so distracted.

"Pretty sure…?" he finally answered, only to realize Violet had turned away to talk to one of her secretaries, a scribe whose name Ridoc couldn't remember to save his life.

Weird.

With a shrug, he went up to the windows that lead to the kitchens and filled two trays with breakfast for himself and Violet: oatmeal, fruit, sausage, coffee.

"Does this sound familiar?"

Okay, that definitely was Violet talking to him, but she was still talking to the scribe and now Aotrom was laughing at him.

"Are you doing impressions again?" Ridoc asked his dragon.

"Nope, Dicky, try again."

He turned away from Aotrom's laugher and back to Violet as he sat down and nudged her oatmeal and coffee in front of her. "I give up, good joke, Vi. Did you learn to throw your voice? I bet the kids love that."

"I'm not throwing my voice."

Ridoc looked at her. Violet gave him a wide grin and drank from her coffee.

"This morning I learned that Andarna and Aotrom have not only been involved, but it's quite serious." Her voice was clear as day despite the fact that she was drinking coffee right in front of him. "Welcome to the mate-bonded dragons experience, Ridoc."

Ridoc's eyes went wide. "Seriously, Aotrom? You didn't tell me!"

"I figured this would be funnier. I was right." He was smug, but Ridoc couldn't say he didn't deserve it.

"Well, good for you. I didn't think you were the settling-down type."

There was the dragon bond equivalent of a shrug. "Sometimes you know it's the right time."

Ridoc dragged his attention back to Violet, who was watching him now. "Sorry, we were—" He made a little puppet of his hand, opening and closing the mouth. "Talking. But how do I do the thing with you?"

Violet set her coffee mug down and leaned forward, excited. "Has anything changed in the space where you connecto to Aotrom's power since the last time I was there?"

He bit into a pear as he tried to settle back into the space enough to actually see it clearly. "I don't think so. It's basically the same as it's ever been."

"On my side, there's fertile earth where Andarna's bond reaches Aotrom, and a little pocket of snow where I can reach you."

"You always make me sound cuter than I deserve." He shook his head. "Okay so I'm looking for…?"

Ridoc had the sensation of spinning around inside his own head, as if Aotrom had taken hold of his shoulders and turned him around. "You look for the shiny, Dicky. See? My shiny. Your shiny." There was an impression of sunlight and lightning. Ridoc shook off the call to sink down into his mental connection and turned his attention back to Violet.

"Think something in that direction, the same way you think at Aotrom."

"That's it? Am I doing it?"

Violet laughed. "That's still your mouth, Ridoc. Come on, try again." He closed his eyes to focus. If it was possible for her to tug him toward her awake as easily as she could do in her dreams, she was doing it then.

"You can try a feeling instead of words, if that's easier."

Feelings were always easier than the right words, and Ridoc knew how to do this. When she'd practiced in his dreams, he'd often had to remind her that she was strong and brilliant and loved, and it was simple to radiate that now, in his waking mind.

"I—oh. I mean, yes, there you go. Now try words again."

"Like this?"

"You did it!" When he opened his eyes, Violet was grinning broadly at him.

"I have a very important question," Ridoc grinned back, matching her excitement. He actually had a lot of questions; as soon as he started letting himself think about it the questions began multiplying and filling up the space around him in his head. He shoved most of them back to make sure he didn't get distracted from the important one.

"What is it?"

"Is this still an inside thought that's staying inside?" It was the most important question because he needed to know how much he needed to control himself with his new toy.

Violet considered the question with far more seriousness than Ridoc had asked it. "Mostly yes, I'd say it's still inside. I would be lying if I said a mental bond had never been used inappropriately during a dull meeting, certainly, but I bet that's true of you and Aotrom too."

"Obviously." Ridoc giggled into his oatmeal, already considering the many, many possibilities. "Is this what all that was about this morning, then?"

"Yes, but it's fine."

"I don't want to cause you any trouble, Vi."

"You're not, and none of this is your doing anyway. You're my best friend, it's simple." Ridoc was still new to this and to interpreting feelings from anyone other than Aotrom, but he was pretty sure there was something Violet felt at him—and maybe something he felt at Violet—that seemed a continent away from simple.

Chapter 05

Violet

Violet had a song in her head. She was starting to get used to having a song in her head, simply because Ridoc so often let his shields slip enough for bits and pieces to slip through. She found herself drawn to his dreams as easily as she was to Xaden's now as well. It had been a little over a week since Andarna and Aotrom's mate bond was formed and Ridoc's constant presence was more of a comfort than Violet had previously realized.

She'd been meticulous over the years to avoid any hints of favoritism in Ridoc's postings and assignments. He loved to travel and had mellowed into an excellent complement to a diplomatic mission when he wanted to be; Xaden—or maybe Generals Cardulo and Tavis—had seemed happy to take advantage of that, keeping her best friend busy outside of Aretia much of the time.

"He's going to need a permanent posting here at Riorson House." Xaden brought it up before Violet had even gotten as far as the logistics. "Can you have him join us for dinner to discuss it?"

"Do you have dinner plans?" she thought to Ridoc, pushing gently into his thoughts. "Xaden and I would like to speak with you."

It was only a moment before he replied. "Is this my formal murder invitation? I'd wondered when that was coming."

"You're much too casual for formal murder," Violet replied, relieved she could tell he wasn't truly worried. "We'll see you in half an hour."

It was forty-five minutes before Ridoc entered the small dining room they used for private dinners, and Violet was grateful. Xaden had learned many things since their marriage, but patience when someone else kept him waiting was still a bit of a learning curve. Still, she saw the muscle in his jaw relax.

After lamb stew and a rather winding story from Ridoc about why he'd been kept back after class by the flight instructors at the Aretian riders' college despite being there as a guest lecturer and not a student, Xaden cleared his throat.

"Now for more important matters," he began, just as the kitchen staff returned with a covered dish.

"Dessert!" Ridoc grinned. "It's nice knowing I'm not the only one who takes it seriously sometimes."

"I—" Xaden blinked at him and then at the revealed chocolate cake on the tray.

Violet laughed. "He's got you there, love," she said to Xaden as he considered the cake.

"Regardless," he tried to pull the conversation back on track. He looked like he already had a bit of a headache, and Violet knew she'd make it up to him later. "What we need to discuss, Gamlyn, is your assignment going forward. Obviously we can't send you and your dragon off for months at a time any longer."

"I'm too old to re-enact that second year at Basgiath," Ridoc agreed, "especially since it sounds like you're not interested in torturing me."

"Not particularly," Xaden drawled. "We need to find you a posting that makes sense. I'd thought about suggesting teaching, but if you're still getting detentions that may not be a good fit."

"I'm sure we can settle on something. I know Vi's been busy with all the high lords and wingleaders you've got coming out next month. Maybe you could use a dedicated party planner."

Xaden's jaw ticked. "It's a bit more than a party, Gamlyn."

Violet watched the two of them bicker back and forth for a bit, enjoying her slice of cake and trying to imagine what other sort of position Ridoc would both enjoy and be good at. When the answer came to her, the words spilled out in a rush, before she could change her mind.

"We should keep it simple. Personal guard to the Queen."

Xaden stared at her. "You've always argued against having a personal guard."

"At first I couldn't stand the idea of anyone else dying for me like Liam had," Violet said quietly, "but then it was a matter of pride, because Tyrrendor has such a history of warrior queens, and by the time I would have stopped arguing, you stopped asking."

Violet met Xaden's eyes like she expected him to say something, but it was Ridoc's head that snapped to her.

"Shit, I can't live up to Liam," Ridoc said automatically.

"You've been living up to that since the first time we went to Deverelli," Violet pointed out. "As much as his sacrifice meant, I only knew him for a year." The wound was long-healed for her and even for Xaden; she was surprised how much Ridoc was still measuring himself against a first year cadet. Not even a real cadet, but some ideal he'd been carrying around for his entire adult life. "You've saved my life a dozen times, Ridoc. You just don't like stuffy titles."

Ridoc laughed. "You're not wrong about that part, Vi. Personal guard sounds like King Halden's entourage, and we don't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

Violet felt her cheeks heat a little at the assumption. "No, we definitely wouldn't want that."

Xaden looked between them, his eyes darkening for just a moment before he shook his head and the soft smile she'd gotten used to seeing on his face came back. "How about a less stuffy title, Gamlyn? Personal jester to the Queen?"

"Royal snow cone maker?"

"Deal."

Violet looked back and forth between them, a soft smile coming to her face. She'd fought hard to make sure Xaden and Ridoc tolerated each other after the war, unwilling to sacrifice one relationship to the other. She wasn't sure when they'd become friends, but she was pleased to think they'd gotten there.

Chapter 06

Ridoc

"I think maybe we need to talk about the dragon in the room," Ridoc said. He'd been going back and forth about whether he should even have this conversation for days, but the mating bond connecting him to Violet wasn't getting any quieter.

Neither were Aotrom and Andarna.

"Just because you're not getting laid by your Shiny doesn't mean I need to feel bad about mine." Ridoc could feel Aotrom's eyes rolling down the bond.

Ridoc coughed. That was uncomfortably close to what he wanted to talk about.

"Are you okay?" Violet asked him

Chapter 07

Epilogue

The next time Violet felt dragon lust seeping through her shields, she instinctively grumbled to Xaden about the timing. Really? In the middle of welcoming the Isles' delegations to the meeting?

Xaden shot her a confused look. Violet? What do you mean?

With a frown, Violet checked into her mental Archives, and sure enough it was Andarna's window that bubbled with action. Normally, Xaden was more than happy to help her deal with that anyway, but it would be hours before they could both disappear and she knew it. And for that matter...

She looked around the room before her eyes locked on Ridoc. His eyes were looking straight at her until she caught him, and he turned his head immediately to admire some handsome nobleman from Deverelli.

Violet felt Xaden's sigh in her head. Say you need to lie down, he told her, squeezing where his fingers twined between hers. Have him escort you upstairs.

Are you sure? I'm entirely capable of controlling myself.

I know, though you never seem to control yourself with me, Xaden said. I don't need him causing an incident by sleeping with one of the representatives. Possibly more.

He hasn't done that in years, she defended Ridoc automatically, and she could almost hear Xaden chuckling.

"Whether you decide to do anything about Andarna's activities is up to the two of you. I trust you." Violet knew just how much work it had taken to get to that point. "Break out the churram if you have to. Just keep him occupied."

Violet tilted her head up for her husband to kiss her and then sent a call in the other direction as a fresh wave of dragon lust made her dizzy. "Come take me upstairs, Ridoc. I think we both need to get out of here." She gestured at the same time, using the sign for "help" out of habit, so it wasn't obvious to anyone watching how she had gotten his attention.

"Just the two of us?" he winked at her as he took her hand. She ignored the wink, apologizing to the dignitaries as Ridoc escorted her out of the welcome party.

"Violet," Xaden called after her, meeting her eye as she reached the door. She paused, wondering if he was going to change his mind.

"If you do get carried away... leave the bond open." His smirk was the last thing she saw as she left.