I'm pretty sure the Assembly is holding Bodhi prisoner. It's been four days now since I saw him leave to sleep or eat, not that I'm stalking him. I'm picturing him tied to the throne, tortured by papercuts and condescension.
The "tied to the throne" thing is actually kind of hot, but not the torturing part. And not the not sleeping or eating part.
I guess maybe he's been sleeping and eating and I just haven't been able to catch him; it's not like I've got a ton of free time aside from patrols and resuming lessons and helping Sawyer learn to fight again, which basically means getting kicked with a metal leg for an hour at a time. But if I haven't seen him anywhere, it's my job to assume the worst.
You know, my job as his ~suitcase~ attache. That definitely requires making sure he's not being tied up without me.
It's Friday and we're done with classes and I'm done getting beaten with a metal foot for today so I'm headed down to find something to eat when I spot Imogen leaving the kitchen. She's got a tray full of two plates of dinner and a bottle of something that looks delightfully alcoholic. This is my chance.
"Hey, Im! Did they finally let you out of detention?"
She rolls her eyes. "We're just busy. Turns out starting a country over from scratch is a lot of work."
"Anything I can help with?" It just slips out, and on the one hand yeah it's been a long week and I've got foot-shaped bruises all down my side, but on the other hand... Bodhi and Im clearly have had it worse.
I think Imogen's going to turn me down, but she looks me over like she sees an easy mark. "You could just go say hi to Bodhi, you know."
"What? No, I mean, yes, I could. But I want to help." I casually cross my casual arms over my chest, and casually lean back against the wall... well, where I thought the wall was, but I'm off by about four inches.
Imogen laughs so hard she has to set the tray down on the floor before she doubles over. When she stands up, her face is red and she shoves the tray into my hands. "That shouldn't be this funny. I'm taking it as a sign we need a break, Gamlyn. You can find him in Fen's office, next to the throne room. If he asks, tell him Garrick talked me into going out to relax."
I stare at her a bit, partly because that's the most words I think she's ever said to me without an insult, and partly because somehow it worked. If I'm bringing him dinner for two it's kind of like a date, even. "I'll take care of him, don't worry."
She snickers. "Yeah, it'd be doing us all a favor. Have a good night."
It takes me three tries to find the throne room- I'm a landnav god, not a housenav god- but the office next to it is obvious. I go to knock, realize my arms are full, and kick the doorframe lightly a couple of times instead.
"Just come in, Im, it's not locked."
But my hands are still full and I'm worried if I try to balance the tray on one hand I'll drop the whole thing and then Bodhi won't get to eat, so I can't open it myself. "My hands are full, babe, can you get the door?"
There's a minute of silence and I'm worried he's, I don't know, hiding from me or something, but then I hear something that's probably a chair scraping backwards, and then Bodhi opens the door.
He definitely looks like he hasn't slept in four days, but I don't see any papercuts.
"Ridoc?" Maybe he thinks I'm a hallucination? He definitely sounds confused.
"I asked Imogen if I could help," I offer. "She said to bring you dinner and Garrick's taking her out."
He blinks again, so I hold up the tray of food like it's proof of my story.
"Oh! Right, come on in!" He practically jumps backward out of my way. I follow him in, nudging the door shut behind me with my foot. When I go to set down the tray, however, I realize there isn't a clear, flat space in the entire room. Everything is covered in paper.
Bodhi seems to realize this at the same time I do, because he starts rearranging stacks on the desk to open up some space. Soon I can slide the tray onto the edge of the desk and I'm even reasonably confident it will stay put.
Sitting back down, Bodhi slides his spoon under a chunk of potato, eats it, and immediately starts to turn back to one of the stacks of paper. I open the bottle and pour some of the dark liquid into the empty glasses on the tray.
When Bodhi takes a swallow, a single bead of condensation drips off the glass onto his jaw and traces a line down his throat. I can't stop thinking about wanting to lick it.
"Careful if you haven't had Tyrrish mead before, it's stronger than you're used to," he says, and goes back to working.
I eat a few spoonfuls of the spicy stew and rice, and then try the mead while watching him. It's really good, and getting the chance to spend time with him up close isn't half bad either. His eyes are darting back and forth while he reads, and he's wearing his Section Leader Face. I'd thought that face was just like, pretending when he had to look like he was serious and not his smiling self, but ever since he took over the title he's wearing it every time I see him. It's not just that I'm only seeing him in public.
Does he only get to be serious now?
I can't help frowning at that thought. Bodhi's beautiful when he's serious, too, but it's not the same as when he's all sparkly with the light in his eyes.
Wow, I've got it bad.
Because he's too good, he notices the look on my face. Because I haven't said anything, he reads it all wrong. "You don't have to stick around, I know this is boring."
"It's not boring."
"You're literally watching me read."
"Yeah, but I watch you all the time."
"You do?"
Oh, that was my outside voice. I finish my glass of mead and pour another one instead of answering him.
"What are you working on?"
"Right now, I'm reviewing a draft treaty with Krovla." He starts pointing to the various small stacks. "That's stuff the Assembly had set aside for Xaden to deal with, and that's newer stuff they set aside for me, and that's stuff Xaden did deal with but somebody didn't like how he did it so they want to review it again, and that's... You don't really care about all this, do you, Ridoc?"
"I mean, I live here now, I'm fighting for Tyrrendor, so yes I care what's going on. I think we've all seen what happens when people don't pay enough attention to what their government's doing." My mouth is really dry and I empty my glass. When Bodhi refills it I notice he only fills it halfway. "And I care what you're doing, how you're feeling. I want to help."
Bodhi's not wearing his Section Leader Face anymore. I'm not sure what that face is, actually. It's less serious than Section Leader Face, but it's not his shiny smile face, either. He looks... soft, maybe?
His voice is soft too. "You can help. Can you go through the pile that was for Xaden, and figure out how much of it doesn't matter now that we aren't a revolution anymore?"
"Yeah, I can do that." I smile, and Bodhi smiles back. It makes me feel like I'm a cat in a summer sunbeam, that smile.
The actual sorting takes longer than it probably should, but the mead is very good and also I'm not in a hurry. I clear off the couch so I can sit more comfortably, leaning against the arm with one of my legs folded up, and I only need two piles. It's pretty easy to specify which things we don't need. The oldest stuff is about sneaking stuff out of Basgiath or secret flier drops, and I don't feel bad tossing anything that's chastising Xaden for some decision he made without consulting the Assembly. There's reports from different parts of Tyrrendor that might still be relevant, and logistics about feeding dragons.
"A lot of this probably has updates in the pile for you," I tell him.
Bodhi doesn't look surprised. "I had a feeling, but Ulices said it was disrespectful to just ask them to tell me what was outstanding."
"That's obnoxious."
"Yeah, I know. Imogen told me I should just burn the stack and they'd tell me if I overlooked anything, but I'm worried I'm going to miss something."
"I know you're perfect, but you know it's okay not to be perfect, right?"
"I'm not perfect," insists the perfect man.
I scoff and he pouts just a little, which only proves my point because it's a perfect little pout.
"I'm not. I feel like there's so much I didn't pick up or I'm not going to pick up, and six hundred years of history to untangle on top of that. Did you know there are agreements between Tyrrendor and Elsum and Krovla from before Unification that people are just... unofficially following?"
"Why?"
"Because it never occurred to them to stop, as far as I can tell." Bodhi shrugs. "People just do things because that's the way it's been done, and for them it still worked. But with anything new, I want to make sure I'm not just running roughshod over people who've been handling things just fine for ages. That's how the apostasy happened in the first place."
"You're so smart." I know it's not possible to have hearts in my eyes, but it feels like they're there. Or maybe that's just the flush in my cheeks because I've had a little too much of the very good mead.
"I'm glad you think so," he murmurs.
"I'm done sorting!" My voice is louder than I mean it to be.
"Anything useful?" Bodhi comes over to sit on the couch. Technically he's not next to me, because there's three stacks of paper between us, but it feels like he's next to me.
"This one's tinder," I point to the larger pile. "This one's probably at least worth having you or Imogen look at, and this last one's stuff that actually sounds kind of urgent so hopefully they weren't actually just waiting."
"That's really helpful, thank you." He's making that soft face again and I just want to smush his cheeks. I want to smush them so much.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I'm leaning over the papers and actually doing it, my hands are on his cheeks, and then my balance is off and I slip further forward and somehow I'm kissing him.
It's not as if I haven't kissed Bodhi Durran before. I have, mostly flirty kisses, some with tongue, some the kind where you're basically fucking with your lips, but this one feels different. It's soft, like his face, and full of hearts, like my eyes, and I'm aware I've just undone half my work because the tinder pile has slid off the couch and onto the floor like a paperwork waterfall flowing into a late of wasted time.
Bodhi doesn't seem to mind. His hands are on either side of my chest, and he's either pulling me toward him or he's stopping me from falling on him, and they're both good options.
I scoot forward so I have my balance back, then lick his neck the way I wanted to before.
He giggles and almost immediately apologizes. "Sorry, ticklish."
I giggle too and then nibble instead on his neck, wanting to hear him laugh again. It's such a perfect sound and I want to make him laugh every day.
When I pull back, I side my hands down his shirt and reach for his trousers. First I made him laugh and now I need to make him feel good. He's the best, he deserves to feel the best.
Bodhi's wearing some kind of formal pants with... double buttons? I didn't notice before, but there's two lines of buttons, and they're weirdly flat buttons. I try to go for one anyway but the little slug of metal is tight against the canvas trousers and I can't get it to move right.
"Problem?"
"Yes," I admit. "You've got too many buttons on."
Bodhi laughs again. "I think maybe you had a bit too much mead."
"Not too much. Just enough."
"Enough for what?"
"Enough to tell you I think I love you." Oh. Outside voice again.
Bodhi doesn't look upset, though. "You're too good. Let me get you to bed and we can talk tomorrow, properly. Without any paperwork. Okay?"
"But I'm supposed to get you to bed," I complain as he helps me up. "Imogen'll be disappointed."
"I'll go to bed too," he says, flicking his hand to turn off the mage lights as he guides me out of the office. "We can't have Imogen disappointed."
I'm looking up at him, at the huge, formal hallway around us and the portrait on the wall behind him of some ancestor that looks a lot like him. There's a lot of portraits in the hall.
There's a lot of history watching us.
Hope they like the show.
I go up on my tiptoes, kissing Bodhi again, and it's still just as perfect as he is.