Liam had been crying for so long he didn't even remember what he was crying *about*. Ten whole minutes, at least. He was under somebody's bed but he didn't know whose because he wasn't at home, because his parents wanted to come to some stupid boring grownup meeting and brought him because he should meet other kids, even though the other kids were older and already knew each other and already knew all the same games and he didn't know *any* of the games.
He heard the door open and he hoped it was maybe that his dad had come looking for him, or even maybe his mama if it was time to leave, but then he heard them lay down flat on the floor and grownups didn't do that. Liam wanted to look and see who it was but he was curled up tight and maybe if he didn't move they wouldn't see him and they'd go away.
"Hey Liam?" It wasn't one of the really big kids but one of the ones he was supposed to be playing with. Caden? Liam scrunched harder and wished he'd disappear.
"Are you playing roly-poly or something? You look like a little Liambug curled up like that," the boy asked. Liam thought maybe he was teasing but it didn't sound like teasing, it sounded... maybe friendly. "Please come out, Liambug, Garrick's sorry he made you cry. We can teach you to play adventure friends with us."
Liam just sniffed, considering it.
"Mimsy said you can have Garrick's dessert."
That got him to unroll a little bit and look at Caden- no, Xaden. "Extra dessert?"
Xaden nodded. "Choklit cupcakes. But you can't have one under the bed, or you'll get dust on the frosting."
"Kay." Xaden reached under the bed and all he could touch was Liam's hair, so he ruffled it. Liam reached out so Xaden could take his hand, and then pull him out from under the bed.
--
Liam had been crying for so long he didn't even know what he was crying *about* except that it was about everything. His mother. His father. His sister shipped off gods knew where. His arm still hurt where the relic had been burned into his skin. His other shoulder hurt where the stupid soldier had held him too tight. His jaw hurt from the punch he got when he bit the stupid soldier's hand.
He was in somebody's bed and it still didn't feel like his bed even if he knew he was going to be here for the next five years, he wasn't home and he'd probably never be home again. And he was supposed to be brave or some shit but why should he be brave, he was tired of being brave, he'd been so brave for Sloane and they'd taken her away anyway.
The door opened and he braced himself for it to be the stupid Duke again to tell him to buck up or whatever, but the footprints he heard weren't boots.
"Hey, Liam?" Oh, it was Xaden. Xaden who was the oldest one left. Xaden who was so good at being brave that he'd stared down all the generals from Navarre, even the beady-eyed man and the stone-faced lady. Xaden who was probably half the reason he was still alive, aside from his mother's magic burned into his arm.
"Are you going to tell me to snap out of it and get it together?" Liam asked, and it came out more sarcastic than he really felt but he was too tired to apologize, either.
"No." The bed sagged where Xaden sat on the edge of it. "I'm a little jealous. I haven't remembered how to cry yet."
That was strange enough that Liam blinked and pulled the blanket down so his head was uncovered. "You forgot how to cry?"
Xaden nodded. "My dad told me to take care of everybody and I was so busy doing that I didn't let myself cry, and now I can't. I guess I forgot how."
"Oh. I can cry for you, if you want?"
"Thank you, Liambug." Xaden reached over and ruffled Liam's hair. He left the hand there after a minute, and Liam didn't pull away.
"I forgot you used to call me that." He hadn't spent that much time at Riorson House as he got older. Liam's dad had tried to stay away from the Apostasy, worried about what would happen to him and Sloane if they failed, but it hadn't mattered in the end.
"You're still curled up."
"I guess." Liam reached up and took Xaden's hand out of his hair. He tugged gently until the older boy relented and laid down next to him on the bed. "Maybe if you try it, you'll remember how to cry."
"I think I'm just broken," Xaden said, but he didn't get up, either, and if his face was wet when he finally fell asleep there, neither of them said anything about it.